The Woes of Fatherhood
by somnambule
Summary: Stupid Ino and her suddenly detectable attractiveness. Things were so much easier when he’d been the only one to notice.' Ino plays hard to get and Shikamaru clearly doesn't get the game.


In the crowded little restaurant, glasses were clanged, food was happily consumed, and the company was good natured on this warm summer night. Men at the bar we're merrily working their way to totally-worth-it hangovers in the morning to come; tonight caution had been tossed out the window five drinks ago. The air was warm with the relaxing weekend to come and on the sidelines of it all sat a predictably aloof Shikamaru. However, on a more meticulous inspection, one would find that there was something amiss as he sat in his chair fiddling with his food. Like how his posture, or lack there of, seemed fractionally more uncared for than usual, with a sort of sullen edge if one were really focusing on the guy's back. Because tonight Shikamaru's mood didn't quite fit the current atmosphere of the establishment. All the care free expressions and harmless fun, usually he'd be at that bar with Chouji, watching on as his friend got utterly, undeniably shitfaced, while he himself became just as blissfully polluted. But tonight as the quarter moon glowed through the window that his table was positioned before, there were no thoughts of joining in on drunken fun, but many centered around one girl.

More like pain in the ass than girl, or sort of woman, maybe. God, was Ino really a _woman_ now? _Gah, I guess she is_, he mused grudgingly. And that was Shikamaru's problem really, wrapping his usually cooperative and receptive brain around the idea that Ino was more than a piece of the whole ino-shika-cho trio they had going but a person, and a _woman_ flesh and bone, he cringed inwardly. And why should he even care? That was the real question behind this downer of a night. Ino was just that troublesome, self- centered, outspoken, superficial headache of a kunoichi that he'd been thrown together with for an all too convenient next generation reunion team. He swore to god the team selection had to have been rigged or there must've been a frickin' conspiracy between all of their fathers, it really wouldn't surprise anyone. And if it weren't for that stupid, tacky impulse to make _another _'ino-shika-cho' team, Shikamaru certainly wouldn't be in this mess of a head fuck. Stupid Ino and her growing up thing. Like, she'd always kind of dressed to, err, "flaunt her assets" as she'd said but only recently had there been a viable response from any of the male population, and when it rained it friggin' poured. Needless to say this new development in his relatively peaceful life (since, really, how peaceful of a life can you actually lead when you're a _teenaged ninja, _hormones and shuriken were not a great combo in Shikamaru's humble opinion, but hey all the kids are doing it these days right?) was sort of beginning to annoy him with its unexpectedly strong intrusion in his brain. He couldn't focus on a thing, not even on his now cold dinner. What was he supposed to be eating anyways? Who even cared?

Stupid Ino and her sudden detectable attractiveness. Things were so much easier when he'd been the only one to notice. All that long, long, long platinum blonde hair, and those eyes always reflecting a summer sky, even her obnoxious bossiness was kind of attractive, even though it reminded him _way _too much of his _mother_. And all those stupid, mindless perverts that were suddenly soo interested in _his _Ino.

_Shut up, idiot_. Shikamaru also totally needed to get over himself, because all this possessive caring crap was really a drag. And completely consuming him.

How did things get like this? Ino was just supposed to be there saying what Shikamaru was too annoyed to say, putting all the energy into life that he just didn't have time for. Because Shikamaru would rather be watching some clouds go by than have to worry about all that crap. Ino always did all of that stuff for him, and in return he would always….

Damn, he'd always just _be there_ to back her up or to rein her in whenever she needed. He wouldn't really mind supporting her, picking up slack if necessary, because wasn't that what he'd always done? And while Shikamaru would admit that he usually _was_ that slack, when push came to shove he'd take a kunai or twelve in the heart to protect what was important. It sort of came in the will of fire package that Asuma had thrown on him.

So yeah, it was perfectly justified that he'd be a bit unsettled right about now. He felt like a father whose daughter was growing up into a complete knock out and he was helpless to stun the transformation. Except fathers usually didn't get heart convulsions and an embarrassing erection when they saw their little girl walk up to them in their new bikini dripping wet from the pool they'd just jumped into so seductively offering said loving father a soda. Yep, Shikamaru was pretty sure he didn't quite fit the concerned parent profile, but that only left one option then.

Shikamaru was going to have to face the fact that he actually had a crush on his teammate. He was attracted to the 'Ino' to his 'shika-cho' for Christ's sake! How was he ever going to live that down?

But now he was going to have to, not only because his bonified _woman _team member wasundeniably _hot_, but because Shikamaru had just noticed that she'd just entered the crowded restaurant and was walking his way.

_Shit shit shit,_ he inwardly panicked, which really never happened, but Shikamaru had never needed to strategize for this kind of situation before, relationship crap was so much easer in theory, from a distance of at least 150 feet, and not involving that obnoxious teammate who was always just there in his life.

"Hey, what's up? You look a little pale? Oohh! Yum! Can I have bite? Thanks!" Yes, that was the Ino he knew and was annoyed by! Keep it up and maybe he'd forget all about this attraction nonsense.

"Go ahead. Take it all," Shikamaru mumbled half- heartedly as he pushed the plate that Ino was already digging in on toward her side of the small table.

And things felt normal for a second before she swallowed and responded, "Oh, can't. I got a date here in a bit, don't wanna fill up on cold beef."

Ah, so that's what it was, beef.

"I guess I'll leave you to your date then," Shikamaru said restrained as he rose from his chair. He suddenly not only lost his already waning appetite but now felt a wave of nausea coming on. Ino, with some guy. Some guy that probably didn't even realize what a catch she was and totally did not deserve to sit at the same table as her, let alone go on any kind of outing with her. _What an asshole_, Shikamaru might have been a bit biased there though.

"Shika? What's wrong? You're doing the brooding thing. Does it scare you that mommy's dating? I promise we won't get married unless you're ready. But this could be your chance for a new daddy!"

Shikamaru exhaled real hard and began making his way to the door. He swallowed the lump in his throat to no effect, he had to get out of here before loser guy came in and Shikamaru throttled him.

Meanwhile Ino had decided to join him in his ventures to reach the exit, obscured by all the people filling the restaurant. She caught up and grabbed hold of his hand.

"Wait! I was kidding! Shikamaru what's wrong with you?"

"Nothing. I'm just tired, I'm going home." He couldn't even make eye contact Shikamaru was suddenly so upset. Which really wasn't his business to be doing, god, did he have _any_ business in her life anymore?

"Don't BS me. What's up? " she tugged on his hand in demanding encouragement as was Ino's way.

"I don't know, I don't want to talk about it. Have fun on your date." With that he pulled his hand out of her grasp and pushed his way out the door.

God, he hated this feeling that just came on inside him and he hated blowing off Ino like that but he needed some air, some space. To escape all that pressure. To escape the problem. Shikamaru knew that he was running away but the whole Ino situation had become too troublesome to deal with a long time ago. And even with his alleged genius status, Shikamaru really had no freaking clue how to fix this. Which was frustrating because it made him feel helpless. And he was helpless; man, it was times like these that Shikamaru really wished Asuma was still around.

Damn, now he was frickin' love sick and depressed. Perfection, just what he'd wanted for Christmas.

Evidently, Ino had decided not to follow him which made getting home a lot faster and that much more miserable for him. Upon getting to his room, Shikamaru didn't bother to get undressed and just threw himself onto the bed in an exhausted, frustrated heap.

-

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The alarm clock at her desk started making that loud beeping sound like they do and Ino groaned as she rose to silence the annoyance.

"guuhhhh…." Yeah that stupid contraption was being majorly insensitive to her hangover and frankly, Ino didn't appreciate it. "You bastard…"

Last night was fun with…Joe… Jim……. err. Well he was really nice regardless and didn't even question her insistence on getting too drunk to stand. That date probably wouldn't have been so alcohol saturated if it weren't for grumpy Shikamaru messing up her good spirits. Seriously what was his problem? Whatever, Ino would just sum it up to his man period and let him work it out; it was none of her business. Shika was a big boy now and, as much as she hated to admit it, he could handle himself. Which he'd been making very clear the last couple of weeks. And people said she was rude. Hadn't he heard that the standoffish asshole strategy only worked when you were Sasuke? And even with him that kind of got old when he betrayed his village. So frustrating, you thought you knew a person and then they had to go turning into a jerk and leaving for evil ninja affiliations!

Back to Shikamaru, she finally started getting some male notice and the guy that actually counted starts treating her like-like…like he wasn't _her_ Shikamaru anymore! What the hell?! Everyone knew that she owned Chouji and Shikamaru and he was acting like that bond had never been made!

See?! He was already ruining her day! Ino got into her bathroom and undressed and then trudged groggily to her shower, which always seemed to sooth her whether it was guy problems or the after effects of booze. So it was extra necessary this morning seeing as Ino currently faced both. That idiot, he was messing everything up. They were supposed to be dating by now; his attitude was putting her way behind schedule in her plans. How were they going to be married by next Christmas at this rate!?

Ino finished her shower, toweled off and walked back into her bedroom to her dresser and proceeded to do what most people did in front of them, feeling down.

But her mood brightened considerably when Ino recalled that today was her day off. Hooray, relaxation.

Perhaps she'd help in the flower shop. Yes, perfect.

Ino made her way out the door of her ridiculously small apartment; she'd have breakfast with the family this morning. It was a great day; the sun was doing its thing while the breeze kept the possibility of sweating out of mind. It was so refreshing that her hangover was long forgotten. Truly everything was going great. Then guess who made their way around the corner?

God, he looked like he was just about ready to go back to sleep. An enormous yawn eased through his mouth before he got back to watching where he was going. But by the time he'd realized who he was about to cross paths with it was too late to run. It was sort of comical how even after they'd made eye contact he still turned his head back and forth frantically looking for an escape. It was also sort of saddening for Ino, as well as infuriating.

"I didn't know you were capable of waking up so early when you didn't have a mission, Shika."

He seemed to have given up on finding an exit and resigned himself to actually conversing with his teammate.

"Ehh… yeah. I actually had business to attend to this morning."

"Oh? Do tell. Unless it's too personal, I wouldn't want to pry on your life!"

That was so weird how she could fly from sarcastic to insane in less than a second.

"What?!"

Shit, did he say that aloud? He did didn't he? Eh, whatever he'd just follow it up with what he'd actually woken up at frickin' 6 'o clock in the morning to say.

"I said, 'I don't like watching you date other guys'."

And while Ino was pretty certain that Shikamaru in fact hadn't said that before, it was a bit moot in light of what had just come out of his mouth. Because not only did it finally make clear what had been up his ass for so long but it also implied who he thought she should be dating.

And through a blush she said, "Then get in line pal! 'Cause the world doesn't revolve around y-"

And it was at that moment that Shikamaru discovered a simple and relatively painless way to shut up his annoying, lovely teammate. He swiftly pulled her chin forward and sealed the deal.

Breaking the kiss, "Will you go out with me? Say tonight?"

The guy looked serious. Like he'd just made an uncalculated risk in shouji. Which he sort of had.

"Yes!" she breathed with an amazed laugh.

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So..? What's on your mind with this one? Let me know, I think it's a major improvement for me. Oh, and requested by my sister.

Also requested by my sister: "I do not, nor will I ever, own Naruto. 'Cause Masashi Kishimoto has dibs."

Don't forget to review! Oh wait did I already imply that? That's fine :] review again!


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